The Gap Between Feeling Relationship Pain and Fixing it Widens

2 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 0 LinkedIn 0 Google+ 0 Buffer 0 Email -- 2 Flares ×

New statistics out say that couples wait an average of 6 years after they know that there is a problem in their relationship before seeking counselling.

What is so disturbing about this statistic is that many couples must be experiencing high levels of pain and suffering before they are reaching out for help.

Research into counselling outcomes says that says 80% of people that attend counselling experience positive benefits and change within themselves and their relationships.

So many couples are needlessly struggling within their relationship when they could benefit from attending counselling.

If you are wondering if your relationship might be in trouble, here are some tell-tale signs that you might need help:

  • You feel like you are growing apart and communicating less and less.
  • Your sexual life has diminished or completely evaporated.
  • You frequently feel criticised, blamed or attacked.
  • You look for excuses to avoid your partner or relationship time shared together.
  • You enjoy time with friends and colleagues more than with your partner.
  • You get caught in a cycle of attack and withdrawal and rarely resolve issues.
  • You prefer to lose yourself in sport, the internet or books instead of spending time with your partner.
  • You often feel defensive about the smallest complaints.

If you can relate to some of the statements above, it may be a sign that your relationship needs the assistance of a specifically trained relationship counsellor or therapist.

One of the common myths that stop couples from getting help with their relationship is that to ask for help means that you are weak or inadequate. I often hear the old adage “If you can’t fix it yourself, then it can’t be fixed at all.”  These myths don’t acknowledge that when you are in a relationship or ‘system’, it is very hard at times to have an objective perspective of the relationship dynamics.

A couples counsellor or relationship therapist is trained to specifically identify the blocks that people have to relating. They are also trained in process or systems theory, which helps them see the negative patterns, triggers and cycles that couples get into. Having the third perspective on the patterns in your relationship then helps you step out of these destructive and harmful dynamics.

I think when a couple comes to relationship or marriage counselling, they are saying how much they care about the other and the relationship. They place a priority on their relationship by asking for help or assistance before things get worse.

If you don’t want to be one of the couples that stay in relationship pain, contact one of our counsellors at the Centre for Relationship today.

2 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 0 LinkedIn 0 Google+ 0 Buffer 0 Email -- 2 Flares ×